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The idea that “opposites attract” is a common dating myth. However, there is no such evidence to prove it. Instead, similarity in personality traits and values is a stronger predictor of attraction and relationship success. While differences can bring some excitement to a relationship, it is important to share some common ground to establish a strong foundation. Many people believe that playing hard to get will make them more desirable and increase their chances of being pursued. However, it can actually decrease the perceived level of interest and attractiveness of the person playing the game. It is important to be genuine and communicate clearly to establish a healthy and honest relationship.
Don’t…let the last two years deter you from finding love. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s to cherish life. Reflect and really think about what is important to you. If you’re single and want to look for love, make it a priority and don’t be afraid. Do…be your full, authentic self. Being true to yourself and confident in who you are is one of the most attractive qualities. And people are super attracted to confidence.
Dating highlights our biggest insecurities: We overanalyze what we say over text or Tinder, try on 15 different outfits before a date, and maybe even expect the worst and prepare to be ghosted or for the date to go badly. Sound familiar? To cure pre-date anxieties, try visualizing the best version of yourself. Are you confident, comfortable, or friendly? How would the most confident you act on this date? What would you wear? Would you even care about what you wear? Remind yourself that you are the catch that your date is trying to impress, not the other way around. Even if you don’t feel confident or calm, the simple act of visualizing your best self can help you relax and enjoy the date instead of getting in your head.
In reality, just being nice to a girl you like doesn’t convert her into your girlfriend magically. Don’t nurse fantasies of dating a girl while sticking around her and doing nice things hoping to get noticed. The best route to take – coupled with being nice to her – is to ask her out on a proper date. Let her know how you feel about her. This will let her know that you’re not just around her for casual friendship. If you don’t do this, there’s a high probability you’ll end up in the friendzone. Dating apps are convenient because they remove all the anxiety it takes to work up to a woman, build friendship, and ask her out on a date. But that convenience can quickly become addicting. And this isn’t a good thing for several reasons.
You don’t need to be an A-class mechanic, plumber, or electrician. But if you happen to have any of these skills, then it’s an added advantage to you. The point is that ladies like men who know how to fix things. And the reason is simple. For a woman, watching a man fix something that is broken is like watching a magician perform his tricks. And one of the reasons for this is that fixing things is not a skill most women are interested in. This is partly why women dominate careers like nursing while men dominate engineering or architecture. Hence, seeing a man do his thing, fixing broken stuff, as simple as it might seem to most men, is just an amazing sight for most women.
Set healthy boundaries – even before you meet: It’s natural to flirt via messages and conversations in the beginning stages of dating. You’re pursuing a romantic connection, after all! However, if your date is crossing boundaries and making you feel uncomfortable, politely let them know immediately. For example, if they make an advance that feels like too much too soon, express your feelings: “That makes me feel uncomfortable, could we take a step back from that please?”
FYI: Being alone is a good thing. A single relationship status or even just time spent on our own allows us to turn inward, explore our truest desires, and get to know ourselves better. When we know ourselves and what we want, our dating lives become more fulfilling, successful, and fun. Any amount of time alone can be invested to understand what we want out of a partner, but more importantly, it can make us feel so whole we don’t need a partner. Let me go on a quick tangent about a few outdated dating rules that we really should ditch, like, yesterday. To start, my least favorites of all dating rules are “Don’t kiss on the first date” and the “Three-date rule.” Let’s just throw out any rules that imply that what you want to do with your body and when you want to do it are not up to you. Make your own rules based on comfortability and what you’re feeling.
Work through your baggage. Everyone has a few scrapes and scars from previous experiences that can creep into their love lives. For instance, maybe your parents failed to show you consistent affection, and now you find yourself being extra needy in relationships. Or maybe your ex cheated on you, leaving you with some serious trust issues. Regardless of what baggage you’re carrying around, it’s time to dig deep and work through it. Otherwise, it may prove next to impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone new. Bottom line? Clear your mind of “the one who got away” and you’ll have a much easier time recognizing someone great when you see them. Whether that means meditating, working with a therapist or dating coach, practicing self-care, or keeping yourself busy with healthy distractions, the point is that you’ll be far more likely to actually achieve your romantic goals IRL, rather than just in your head.
Look — I get it. Not everyone is into texting. But the reality is that these channels of digital communication have become so prevalent that someone might take it personally if you aren’t getting back to them in a timely manner. So, here’s an opportunity for you to communicate! Tell your dates from the get-go what your communication style is so they can adjust their expectations. For example, you might say, “I’m not big on texting, except for quick things like solidifying plans, but just so you know I’m always down for a deep chat on the phone!”